"I very seriously pursued learning about past lives and different planes of existence and all of the esoteric, metaphysical knowledge I could access. And that pursuit was important in helping me to enlarge my intellectual paradigm - but a few years later I realized that the whole purpose of the pursuit had been to bring about a shift in my relationship with myself, my concept of God/Goddess, and with life. The details that I had accessed about past lives and other dimensions of existence were not really important in terms of how I live my life today - but the shift in my paradigm, and therefore my relationships, was vital. At that point in time, I threw away all the notes I had taken about different past lives and such.

The whole purpose of my quest was to discover a belief system that could allow me to start believing that I am in fact Lovable and worthy. Figuring out how it all works isn't what is important - what is important is discovering the faith to believe that there is a Loving Force in control. That is what helped me start Loving myself more - to start relaxing and enjoying life a little bit more instead of always giving fear and shame all of the power.

So, anything in terms of details, that I share here are my interpretations. The interpretations that helped me to discover a belief system that served Love - that was functional in helping me to overcome the dysfunctional beliefs I was programmed with in childhood. That they may be different from someone else's interpretations does not mean that one is right and one is wrong. There are a plethora of ways to look at and interpret information which is beyond human understanding. Any explaining or defining of God is limiting - and the Goddess is unlimited.

The purpose of sharing this at all, is the hope it may help you to enlarge your intellectual paradigm - help you to build yourself a larger Spiritual container so that you can open up to accessing more Love in your life." (This is a quote from The True Nature of Love - Twin Souls, Souls Mates, and Kindred Spirits - which is now part of the Dancing in Light pay to view section of my site.)

"It was very valuable for me in recovery to realize that I cannot force myself out of an emotional place - I can't force my process. I learned that I needed to accept where ever I was emotionally - no matter how uncomfortable. Once I accept where I am at, then I can take some action that will be helpful in moving me to a different emotional place.

One of the things I have control over, that I have the power to change, is what I am doing in the moment. I have the power to force myself to take an action. Not because I "should" - because it is the kind thing to do for me.

Allowing myself to be in my head wallowing in the agony of the trauma drama that is obsession is not a kind thing to do for myself. Getting up and getting in motion is a good thing.

I take the deep breaths to get into the moment. I look around and see that the sink is full of dirty dishes. So I do the dishes. Then as I am drying my hands I look around and notice what a beautiful day it is outside. So, I go out and take a walk."

(February 28, 2007)
"Your website is helpful and encouraging, and it's so good to know that someone else is approaching codependency recovery spiritually."

"In the 34 years of my sobriety, 30 of which has been working with addicts and families I have never read or heard anything that equals your writings on addiction and effects on loved ones. Thank you. "

"I just finished reading your book, The Dance of the Wounded Souls, and wanted to let you know how important a read it has been for me, walking the path I am now on. Many, many things clicked as I read. Many "aha!" moments. Understanding the different voices and emotions I'm finding is an indispensible key to this. I never thought in terms of different aged children coexisting in me, and never saw myself as an emotional six-year-old. But I sure do now! An incredible learning experience. . . Thanks again for sharing your profound insights. They are helping to light my path."

"I read the Dance of Wounded Souls just before Christmas and it has been very helpful. It is helping me to work through and understand problems that I have had with my partner and with my close friends. I think that many of my friends are wounded souls, as was/am I. I had an insight before reading it that we were friends because of some dysfunctional reason as well as because we have fun together.

It is a wonderful book. And it has helped me on a path to spiritual understanding and healing. I went to Southern India over Christmas and the New Year. And this also has opened my eyes to a different way of looking at the world. The people I met were wonderful. I really felt as if there was warmth and love between them and I. I really believe that you are right - once we start being conscious of the problems, we can then start to change."

"Thank you for your response. I listen to your CD's every morning and evening, as I take the NYC subways to and from work. It is helping to change my life immensely. God bless you for putting out this beautiful, so desperately-needed work"

"Just wanted to say how thankful I am for you and your site and your wisdom! I'm at a real low point right now and I'm trying really hard to read and understand your articles. I can't afford a therapist and so I'm so grateful."

"I was doing some searching and came across your website. I enjoyed your insight on many topics. Obviously I can relate... I plan on reading more of your experience and helpful suggestions."

"Dont know if you read these, But just in, case, would like to say thanks for your articles and how much they have helped me through recent crisis. You are an inspirational person. I asked for guidance and I got it. Thanks again This book is for my partner for Xmas. Hope he sees the light too."

"I had to stop today and take a moment to thank you for sharing your insight and knowledge with the world on your website. I began my healing a few years back and I still find that I put it on hold sometimes as it is very hurtful and probably the hardest job ever. I find your material inspirational and refer to it often. Esp. at work when I can take a break and read a bit to refresh my self. Working with family is hard enough but putting 2 stereotypical narcissists in the picture makes it brutal torture. My goals this year include a change of employment and more growth for my inner child and self. Thank you again for reaching out to others, you are an amazing man!!"

"I forgot to thank you for your Dance of the Wounded Souls book, I went through a major depression last year, and read it, it helped immensely and is one of a kind and ahead of its time! Your work is amazing, and I look forward to reading more that you publish. I am going on to study energy medicine and acupuncture and plan on understanding emotional intelligence/awareness and how false belief systems affect and manifest actual physical symptoms in our bodies, and would love to share your material with my patients who could benefit from your work!"

"I am so pleased to have have found your web site and pages and book. They are helping me NO END. I am not a recovering alcoholic, but an adult + child of one, and are recovering from my childhood abuse wounds which I finally SEE. I see how they have run my life thanks to your willingness to share your journey. I am in the process of RECLAIMING myself and existing for ME for the first time. it is very liberating. It is very HARD. But I feel the love finally. I am ready to receive it, knowing I have a right to exist, a right to breathe, a right to be here. THANKYOU. from my heart and soul."

"I have read your book "the dance of wounded souls" and it ressonated with me - the wounded child that I feel I carry around and the spiritual aspect - which I think is really my only hope."

"I would like to say Thank you for your wonderful website. I found it quite awhile ago and have been skirting around my codependency issues for some time. I plan to order the book soon. I have been quoting some of your writings on my blog."

"Thank you very much for the prompt delivery (and the enclosed inscription) of your book. I read it through the day I recieved it and found it to be powerfully insightful. Having this book enter my life at this point in my journey has helped greatly with some added perspective."

"I have found a deep connection with the way you have describe the circumstances of co-dependancy and how all pervasive it is - i have only came to the realisation before Christmas that my wounding had been since birth due to my parents own wounding etc. I have repeated the same issues again and again in my relationships ie different people but the same dynamics! I have found that there is a great deal of ignorance in the recovery groups in the UK regarding Co-dependancy. i have had to search out the way which suits me in the end. I am so grateful to have found your site and i wish you every continued success with it and hope we can arrange to meet this year on one of your courses."

"I recently came across your page after doing a google search on Codependency. Quite sometime ago, a friend recommended Melody Beatties book "Codependent No More" to me. It lit a fire under me to seek out inner bonding-inner healing, emotional honesty and much of the things you mentioned in your writings on your page. I identified with a lot of your writing. . . . . From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for a wonderful and truly enlightening site and thank you for your work. "

"A few months a go I contacted you about the emotional crises I was experiencing. Both your books got me through not to mention the many many pages I downloaded from your site. It was lifechanging. I was desperately grabbing out for something and nothing fitted. Your support and guidance were there when I needed it."

"Your work has added to the value of me as a human being. I am as a result, more educated and enlightened and feel not quite so alone. It is good to know that other people are working to enhance the cause."

"Fabulous sight and lots of great info on dysfunctional - isms!, I really needed to read it to remind me where i was going wrong, thanks so much:-)"

"I just stumbled onto your website by accident today. I wept as I read the part where you indicated that you thought "wanting to die was really who you were". (Union Within - healing the inner child) Your words rang true for how I have been feeling for nearly all of my life. I am in recovery also but have just realized that itís never really over. I can't wait to read all of the information you have available. Thank you for sharing your experience of inner pain. What a wonderful gift. I feel truly blessed today."

"Thank you Robert. I discovered your website yesterday after a very difficult day. YOur teachings are bringing together things that I have intuited and half guessed for months and years."

"I have recently come across your site and find it amazing accurate and a wonderful array of insight and knowledge. It was actually more than I bargained for as I was only looking for material to include in a hypnotherapy script for a client. I feel that inner child work is very important as itís only when the ëchildí is able to make peace with the past that was, that we are able to move forward. As I feel quite strongly about this type of therapy I will soon be facilitating workshops on this here in Australia."

"Hi Robert, Thankyou for the gift of healing. Thankyou from the bottom of my heart and soul."

"I just found your website tonight. I searched "emontional incest" and your site was the first that popped up. You have some excellent descriptions and examples of emotional incest and Codependency. I am happy that I found your site."

"Perhaps that is the beginning of " wisdom".... recognizing that there is a better way and being willing to explore it. I would like it very much if you would add me to your e-mail list. Thank you for doing so. I like your approach. Much of what you write resonates with the program of AA of which I have been an active member for longer than I want to admit. The program of Al-Anon, at it's best....approaches the idea of dysfunction and co-dependency but it is difficult to find a group that either know or are willing to examine the many aspects of old emotional injury. I am looking forward to reading your book. I particularly am boosted by the idea that there is a distinct line between emotions and thoughts. I have already become aware of my speech and the way I automatically define myself with my emotions....simple things make for the greatest change."

"I find your site very helpfull and am glad I came across it, we need more people like you in the world."

"since I found you I feel different from others. And I said to myself I will turn all my garbage into something wonderful. I feel youíre a wonderful person and did wondrous for me. . . you are a gifted teacher, and I'm grateful to my creator for guiding you into my life. Mahsi (cho). Is saying thank you very much, in my language"

"I recieved your book some time ago and now I have read it. It took some time as I needed to digest everything in my own time. Im still very impressed by your book! And Im so glad that I found it and that you wrote it! Like you say in your book, its not a coincident that I got to read your book. "

"Yes, Robert, it is from ________. This is another "tithe". (This is the second time this person had made a donation to Joy2MeU as a way of Spiritual Tithing.) I visit your site from time to time, still being inspired and greatly helped. Your book is a wonderful support and am often led to it in time of need. The wisdom I received from you is very "ALIVE", it echos often in and from my heart at the right place, at the right time. I am grateful for your work, and advise people to get your book and visit your site often."

"You have a terrific website. I am a LifeCoach and find you really cool."

"I know I haven't written for a long time. I just wanted to let you know we both really enjoyed reading your book, "Dance of Wounded Souls" and it helped alot."

"For a long time now I wanted to tell you what a wonderful book you wrote. I am 43 and read this book three years ago. Actually I read it several times. I have read it again and again and even now when I have a low day, I find myself referring back to it. Itís something to think that it took 40 years to become a complete person. And it was not right after I read the book, it took actually a lot longer than that, and I still think this will always be a work in progress. If everybody in this world wanted to read and understand your book, this would finally be a peaceful planet. I still fall back into traps where people push my buttons, I still have some insecurities, but I am aware of it now and can be proactive. Wouldn't it be nice if this book could be translated into German, (it is actually available in German) so my mother would be able to read it? I was raised in a traumatized war refugee family ? talk about emotional unavailability. So for the longest those were the people I ended up with. But I do think even if you never attempted to work on it ? it is not too late even for people in their sixties. They have never been happy."

"Thank you for all your time and insights you have invested into your website. I have embraced the spiritual path for many years and found this site to assist in the horizontal part of the journey. It helped me put into words feeling and emotions that have existed for so long but that I could not quite verbalize what they were all about. It has helped me make leaps and bounds in my awareness and growth in a very short time period. I wish you much love and light on your journey and that the dance of the rest of your life is joyous and full of love."

"I keep seeing your writings when I do research - they're wonderful. I look forward to reading more of your work."

"Hi Robert Burney, I find your writing --your thoughts to be inspiring--both to me and to my clients."

"I have downloaded many many of your articles since I went into a crisis state about 2 mnths ago. I can't ell you how helpful and timely they have been, as I continue to work my my way through. . . . . I felt desperate and began searching the web. I found lots of articles which VALIDATED that I had been abused by family and partner, but NONE explaining HOW I drew this to me. I had not realized until then, HOW affected I was. I began to look back over my life and see the abuse patterns. I felt sort of shattered when I realized the impact it had had on me, that I had tried to forget it.

Some of the sites mentioned codependance linked with emotional/verbal abuse, so I looked it up and eventually I found your site and it was literaly a GODSEND
AND it came from a spiritual perspecetvie.
AND it showed me the patterns
I have been on the spiritual path all my life. A belief in a higher power that guided and protected me. I felt the TRUTH in waht you wrote.
Recogninzing Truth as an EMOTION was HUGE for me and validating. Through your articles I understood Co dependance and MY PART in it.
I had KNOWN I was wounded from my childhood, but discounted it as 'other people have worse.' Your articles sent me into my grieving process. They have been TREMENDOUS."

"I have already found your website insightful, it was passed onto me by a friend. It is a relief to know that this a common conditions for humans and i look foward to freeing myself with the help of your book."

"I find your website truly inspirational."

"Thanks a heap for making your book/tape series available on CD. I bought the tapes some months ago and listen to them frequently. I dig into something in my own recovery and my own development, and then listen to your tape and realize that I plug in more and have more to learn from your tape. Additionally, when I am feeling 'crazy' and 'codependent', I know that I can pop on your tape and find some centering for myself. I connect with my spritual self in some ways by turning to something that is positive and uplifting and along my path for reccovery. I believe it them so much that I recommended them highly to others in my CODA group yesterday, and have my two tapes lent out to two folks, hoping that they get as much out of the content as I have - and as I continue to. I am evolving my car stereo to one that does not have a tape player, so I have been working to figure out how to transfer the tape to CD, and spent an hour at BestBuy last night to figure out how to use my computer to record the CDs. I figured that I should check back to your website as well to see if you have moved to CD media. Yippee! You have (or your friend did it for you). I bought a copy of the CDs - so now I can keep listening. Yeah! Robert, thanks in a huge way for your very helpful book/tape and now CD series. Thanks for your perspective. I have found it real helpful that you describe how the many levels of this world relate to codependency and recovery. I very much value your local/community/global view of spirituality and how it plays into my personal /community /global view and interaction with/in the world. This is hugely impacting for me, as I have needed to integrate my newer spritual beliefs into how I relate with the rest of the world - and I am very much in agreement with how you portray things. Thanks again, I'll be listening more, and will try to hit your website more frequently."

"My name is ______ and I am a 33 yrs old french woman living in the Netherlands. I spent hours reading the pages on ur website. I just feel so close to what u r writing. thank you for your wonderful site."

"I just want to send a few words your way to say how much valued and appreciated the experiences you have shared have been to me. . . . I was left stunned, just reading the initial few articles that you posted. I did a little bit of regression on myself, and eventually traced some anxious feelings I used to develop when my dad would come home late when I was a child. Everything made so much sense, and it was all greeted with a sense of relief and joy. Spirit has its own mysterious ways, and I feel so relaxed and free now just with the knowledge of a new perspective beckoning. I am actually looking forward to do my own inner healing process, and I am sure this will have a very positive impact for me on the path to just be, let go and live in the moment. . . . All in all, thanks once again for being the kind soul that spirit sent my way through cyberspace in times when I felt really stuck. I have gained brand new and fresh insights and can't help but feel excited over what lies ahead. . . . P.S: I am on the other side of the world by the way, in the tiny island of Singapore."

"You are love and you are light! and we are many people around the world who loves you dearly! Please dont feel that you need to explain yourself as everybody needs help at times, we are humans, and humans dont live on their own and we are all connected! I shall send you some money by cheque when I can. Right now I dont have any to give away but I will soon and then just take it as a symbol of love, ok? Also I will put your website as a part of my signature where ever Im online. Hopefully this will generate some traffic and money your way! Sending you a big hug all the way from Copenhagen, Denmark"

"Even though I know I don't know you, I can relate to your articles on the internet on fears of intimacy on a deep level. I'm a 22 year old female student from New Zealand and all my life have felt incomplete somehow. . . . . I'm writing this email just to let you know how much your articles have helped me realise I am not alone and think now I might have the courage to seek help and support to help me begin to heal. I have never talked to anyone about how I feel. By writing some of my feelings down I think this has also helped me. I can now begin to see light at the end of the tunnel"

"I am thanking god for guiding me to your site when I desperately needed to find a way out. And I thank the universe for responding to my thought!" & "Just want to let you know that I received the book 'Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls' and the 3 CDs on Thursday. I am very happy when I got the parcel and I was even thrill to have your autograph in the book, thank you very much for such a nice thought. My car is like a mobile university to me, I begin to listen to the first CD whilst driving, that is convenient and time well spent when queuing in the traffic!" - from Malaysia

"My web searches regarding codependency and healing my Inner Child have led me to your site. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, insight and experience through the medium of the Internet, which I'm accessing here in Coventry, UK."

"I've spent the last few days reading your joy2meU website and have found it really useful. I seemed to have found it just at the right time. For some time now I have been trying to understand whether my hurts are the result of unhealed past wounds or a consequence of the current situation. I understand now that I need to detach, and discern between my emotional and spitual truth. I am excited about this process and look forward to discerning between the different "voices" and emotions."

"Wow. I have listened to the CD set twice. What a revelation! I am passing the good news along. I would love to attend one of your workshops. I plan to in the future. I believe that you may be a genius! Thank you for your work."

"I LOVE your website and the blending of psychotherapy, spirituality and native am. wisdom - they all work well together."

"Your articles have been a blessing to me, thank you. . . I am an actor/writer/director and the process has helped me tremendously in my craft as well, specifically expressing myself in a real way and getting to the point of what I am saying. So if possible that would be great, for my life and art."

"I love your work and find it very deep, enlightening and unlike anything I have read so far. I am in a recovery period, trying to find my lost wounded self. I've experienced lots of trauma as a young child, teen aged sexual molestation and emotional blackmail from my ex-husband of twenty years. Your work is going to be of paramount importance to me, I can see that! I am trying to scrape together some money to come to the Feb. intensive training in San Diego. Don't know if it will happen. Yet I feel driven to attend. We shall see if it comes together for me!

You are a courageous spirit and I am profoundly grateful that I 'discovered' you online. I've already ordered the wounded soul book and look forward to voraciously reading it! Thanks for all you do for all of us out here in reality!"

"I have really enjoyed reading your website and it has helped me to do some very preliminary work at becoming concious of some of my co-dependency. Thank you so much for sharing with people your experience and giving hope for the opportunity to become whole beings again who love themself. I am going to try a CODA group as I feel like it would be better not to try to tackle everything on my own."

"Thank you so much for all your wonderful information. I have spent days printing it and also bought the book-Dance of the wounded souls. I am currently in an anger management class. I have been sharing your stories. Some others have alcoholism in their backgrounds and have found your info helpful. Although this work is a lifelong struggle for me, and just when I think I'm so much better-wham-it hits me in the face how much more work there is to do. Bless you and I'll keep on keeping on. If only I could afford your seminars I'd love to come. Unfortunately not. Thanks for all your help and please put me on the updates in a newsletter."

"Thank you - your web site is proving to be exactly what I need - too bad I didn't come across it before this - a relationship ended and I feel now that a big part was because of my reacting in a childish way - guess I can't go back and make up for the mistakes I made but I can go on from her - loving myself and healing the inner child (children). Your site is wonderful - thanks again. Yes, please add me to your e-mail list. I appreciate you and your work - keep it going so others may learn to heal."

"Hi Robert.I'm a 51 year old mother of four, and for the first time in my life I can see ìwhyî Iím codependent. Iíve been to countless ìcoî meetings, and Iíve had the concept explained to me over and over, but I never really understood what it was until tonight. I sat down and started reading excerpts from your book on your website, and now I get it. Iíve been sitting at the computer for nearly 3 hours, and I canít pull myself away from what Iím reading. My eyelids are getting heavy, so I wanted to ìThank Youî for your website before retiring for the evening. I have a lot of work ahead of me, but at least my eyes have finally been opened. Wow!!"

"Hello there. I am a life coach and am so impressed with what I see on your site! As a coach I am aware that without boundaries people subject themselves to great suffering. I tell people not having boundaries is like being a river with no banks. If a river has no banks eventually it will evaporate as all the water dissipates!

Given that, I often give people words to say to help them set boundaries; however I loved YOUR three steps! It is what I have been telling them more or less but I value all the renditions of words you offered. That makes it even easier for clients when they can see the choices so clearly!" (refering to the formula shared in Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self - and it is actually a 4 part formula.)

"THANK YOU ROBERT. I HAVE BEEN SO PLEASED WITH YOUR BOOK BECAUSE IT IS USEFUL FOR YOUNG AND OLDER PEOPLE ALIKE.IT IS S WELL WRITTEN AND MUCH DEEPER AND MEANINGFUL THAN THE OTHER SIMILIAR TITLES THAT DEAL WITH CO-DEPENDENCY. [IE; MELODY BEATTIE, ETC.] I GIVE YOUR WEBSITE TO MANY YOUNG PEOPLE AND OLDER FOLK WHO NEE THE EXPERIENCE, HOPE AND STRENGTH THAT YOU OFFER. I WILL ORDER BOOK THROUGH YOUR WEBSITE. I JUST WANTED TO CLARIFY WHAT A MEANINGFUL BOOK THIS IS FOR MY OWN LIFE TOUCHED BY CO-DEPENDENT LIVING. THANK YOU FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL GIFT. LET THE FORCE BE WITH YOU"

"I MUST SHARE WITH YOU THAT I CANT WAIT TO READ YOUR BOOK SINCE I HAVE BEEN IN A HEALING JOURNEY FOR QUITE SOME TIME NOW. I WILL SHARE WITH YOU THAT YOU HAVE HAD PART IN THIS. IT WAS A FEW YEARS AGO THAT I CAME ACROSS YOUR WEBSITE AND READ MOST OF THE ARTICULES THAT YOU HAD ON AT THAT TIME AND THEY MADE AN IMPACT IN MY LIFE, YOUR INSIGHTS WERE THE BEGINNING OF A STRING OF EVENTS THAT HAVE PROPELLED ME TO MAKE SIGNIFICANT CHANGES IN MY LIFE THAT WERE VERY FAVORABLE."