(March 19, 2007) "I just wanted to send a small note to thank you for taking the time and effort to explain so thoroughly this "void" that I have lived with my entire life. Recently, after ending a relationship that I knew should be over I had the same horrible feelings that I had felt so many times before. Even though I knew that the relationship needed to end I could not rest in the fact that I had done the right thing. All the same emotions came rushing back that hurt to my very core. After a talk with a friend he suggested that I do a little research about fear of being intimate, abandonment, guilt and so on. That is when I found your sight and began reading. For the first time in my 45 years did I have a clue what was going on in my brain, my body and with my emotions. My God, who knew. It all makes perfect sense now. For the first time in my life I feel peace. I am actually excited about learning and healing the part of me that has confused me for so long. I am now in the process of reading and living your pages on healing my inner child. Again, thank you for making this information available and changing my life."
"I want to thank you for all of your wonderful articles on your site. I have been searching for so long for an answer and when I found your site I was so excited I cried. It seemed like everything I read you wrote just for me right down to the part about your last relationship. . . I have never felt so peaceful in my life though and I have hope. Thank you so much and I hope you are blessed beyond measure."
"I continue find your website a fabulous tool to assist with the business of a real life. Thank you."
"I have been tirelessly reading your online articles and they have been of great help to my healing. I find myself emerging from suffering and confusion into happiness, understanding and serenity. It must be an amazing feeling to know that you have brought peace and happiness to so many. With love and deepest gratitude."
"Thank you very much for sharing on your web pages. I found the way you write so honestly about your own experience very moving, and there was so much I could identify with."
"I have spent a lot of time on your website the past month and recently purchased your book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls. I absolutely loved it. I can not thank you enough for your work. Thank you for opening up your heart and soul. Reading your book and the writing on your website has brought me so much peace and comfort at a time when I needed it most. . . . I am currently writing an autobiographical book and would like to know if I can use parts of your book as quotes included in my book. I can honestly say that you have explained my life through your book and also changed my perspective on how I view life forever. By profession I am a Psychiatric Nurse and will be incorporating this invaluable information in to my practice. It is going to allow me extend a wonderful path of healing to many.
I want you to know I am thankful for knowing about you. Thank God there are people like you out there spreading the good news. This is something that is going to transform the world. Again, thank you for all you do. Also, thank you for signing my copy of your book. I appreciate you taking the time. much love..."
"I love your book--I think it is genius"
"I accidentally- no let me rephrase that - I went onto google and typed "self love" your website was one of many that appeared. My soul led me to your site - I am completely wow'd. It's just what the dr ordered. I have not read the material on it in concetration but have skimmed through the pages and I am wow'd. I've printed some stuff which I'll be reading tonight at home - I cant wait. Thanking you for such a lovely website of enlightenment - I hope to get more from your site and will advise you accordingly and if there's anything to add I will do so."
"Thanks for the amazing work you have done on your own recovery and for your courage in sharing that process with other sufferers. Over the last week or so I have spent hours reading, thinking and feeling about a great deal of the information on your website. When you describe the illness of co-dependence, you are writing my biography. I have already gained a new perspective on my life and some hope for a different future from the material you have provided."
"Your website is quite amazing and anticipate it taking me a very long time to get through it all."
"I wanted to say that I find your website very educational and helpful. I can relate to so much of what you say. . . . Thank you so much for providing so much helpful information on codependency... You really are a blessing!"
"I read your book "The Dance of Wounded Souls" yesterday. And again today. The first time, I could hardly get through it. I had no idea what you were saying. Yet, a few passages resonated and I decided that I needed to re-read the book. I have found your book, for me, to be life changing. I am 43 years old and I don't believe I have ever known the "gut" feeling of Truth that I had when I understood that my inner 5 year old was "driving my bus" (and has been for as long as I can remember). Codependence has been SO EXPENSIVE in every way in my life that I can't even describe it. I am still reeling from this first hint of recovery. I have been attending CoDA for about three months and have introduced myself as "codependent". The next time I share, I will use "recovering codependent"."
"I just wanted to send you an email to thank you for all your work on codependency - it has helped me greatly in so many many ways"
"I just wanted to say, I have been visiting your site for a little more than a year. I also have a copy of your book. I have benefitted so much from your writing, and I even found ACoA because of it. . . . The second thing is that I think you are too apologetic about your pay section of your site. I was happy to pay. You have given so much to me. If people do not wish to pay, then I think that it is their own problem. But I was more than happy to pay, and actually a little off-put that you had apologized for having a pay section. You need to make money too, and you are helping people in the best way possible! All power to you!"
"I am enjoying your writtings Thanks for making then available"
"Hey, I really like this article on Happy holidays, Sad holidays. I am just noticing this year as well that I am around my friends and feeling deeply sad, and I hadn't been thinking about the joy I also feel. Reading this article reminds me that, yes, I can feel more than one feeling at once. I can feel deeply sad, that might be the strongest feeling, but when I define my self in that moment by it then it is an untruthful accusation. I am not "sad" or "suicidal", I am feeling sad but also lots of other things. Thank you for writing this article for this time of year :) I appreciate having it to read when I am going through this time, and likely to forget some of the subtler details."
"I appreciate your site and your words."
"I love, love, love, did I say, love your book! "The Dance of Wounded Souls" is what I hope everyone in my group will have the opportunity to read. I have looked for a book like this all my life. Like I said in a previous email, I was sitting here minding my own business and your name appeared. I am so grateful for the Divine unfolding. I can't thank you and Him enough. My journey has been a long one. I wouldn't change a thing. Your book feeds my soul."
"I found your website very valuable. So much made sense to me and my life at the moment."
"I found your wesite last night and I amazed at how it describes me to a "t". I know I can benefit greatly from Robert Burney and Joy to You and Me. Thank you."
"Tonight I have spent 5 hrs off and on the computer, discovering that yes, indeed, there's a factor of co-dependency alive and well in me. I started out looking for something for someone else, and ta da -- found me. Why am I not surprised? Ultimately, I have found your site, and tho I haven't read an nth of what I shall, I've read enough to believe you (your site) will be a valuable resource. Thank you for the massive amount of work that has gone in to making the site, for the journey to Self that you openly and freely share, and for the continued work you carry forward."
"Hi. I find your essays on boundaries very helpful."
"I've just found your web site and am thrilled with the contents,i've also ordered the book and cd set as well,i've been in recovery for a number of years and am just now getting to the core issues,,my relationship broke up 8 month's ago with my partner,,a very sick individual,,,and i've been in an awful lot of emotional pain since,,,they've moved on with ease,,(when you dont look at yourself it's easy to do that),,any how i just wanted to say thank you and i look forward to dissecting this site and soaking it in,,it was found at the perfect time on my part."
"I found your information by Googleing "How to stop obsessive thinking." I loved what I read and it all has fit me to a "T.""
"I want tell you that I am so grateful that I have found your website. I have had revelations on my condition from reading your through your writings. I can deeply relate to so much of what you have written. Its like you have followed me around my entire life and wrote it just for me. Your writings have helped me tremendously."
"Dear Robert .... Thank you! While doing some searches on Jesus and Mary Magdalene and related topics, I stumbled into your sites .... divine intervention. . . . I am overwhelmed to find confirmation on your website of many conclusions I have come to myself through independent study, meditation, dreams, and prayer. . . . . I had never before reading your website connected "Wounded Inner Child" as a form of PTSD .... it makes incredible sense, and I will certainly keep it in mind in my counseling work....and in my own life!"
"It feels like a miracle that I found your site."
"I am very much looking forward to getting started on a path to recovery. I have purchased an intial telephone counseling session. I have read your book and listened to the tapes over and over again. I put the tape on when I go to bed at night, when I wake up in the middle of the night I put it on and when I wake up in the morning, I listen to it. I have done this for the last five days in a row. I want to do the work that needs to be done."
"I have not contacted you in awhile. we did a few phone counseling sessions in the past and I have emailed you from time to time. I wanted to wish you a Happy Holiday. Your website has guided me on my path of trusting the universe. It makes sense out of the nonsense and I am grateful for you. So again thank you."
"I have tears of thankfullnes at receiving your reply! It has given me even more hope to explore and understand the impact of my "childhood" and inner child that is getting in touch again. I shall continue to visit your site and will be buying your book as soon as possible! I live in the Netherlands and am so glad to have acsess to you via the internet.......Thanks again so much for your time and efforts to pass on your knowledge and experience."
"It was some time I contacted you to thank you for you book......I beleive I contacted you from a different email back than. Since dealing with my child hood abuse issues and learning to love myself I have come out of the closet. I am walking in love and peace with my husband and he is handling things pretty well considering. I wanted to thank you as your book and site helped me out so very much. . . . Much love to you and thank your for all your loving support."
"What a great heart you have. I feel really lucky to have found you and your work."
"I started finding web-sites like yours it gave me clarity, WOW!!!!!, when I found you're site holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! . . . I can tell from you're site you are full of compassion and will give me some advice."
"My therapist gave me a series of articles to read which prompted me to go to your website. What I have read so far has been incredilby helpful."
"Hi Robert, my name is ______ and i just want to start by sayin a big THANKs to you for the work you are doing. It has been invaluable to me on my own journey of healing! I can only imagine the countless others that you have helped, it seems without much thought of personal gain! . . . I love the emotional healing aspect of your work, which certainly resonates strongly with me!"
"Since I have found the website, joy2meu, I have been profoundly enlightened"
"thank you so very much your book has touched my life greatly, I have been recommending it to everyone I know~ I sure orders will be coming in soon~ but mostly I pray that it will touch my friends and all others that I have suggested to purchase your book , and it will inspire them to make a change in their life for the better~ Again, I wish I had the time to tell you my story, it has been an amazing journey~ from a extremely abusive childhood to homeless to almost losing my life from a 21 year eating disorder ( praise God ~ I have recovered, out of 5 of my friend's I was the only survivor)~ So in short~ thank you and God blessings upon your life,"
"Thank you for your exceptionally useful, wise and insightful site, Joy2MeU. . . the content of the site is adult, well researched and deeply meaningful."
"I don't usually send letters to writers, musicians or other famous people, but as I looked over your site again I just thought why not send thank you? 3 years ago when I discovered I was addicted and codependent, I read your site ALOT along with books by Melody Beattie and Pia Mellody and I absolutely thank you from the bottom of my heart for having your writings online and accessible to all, it's a beautiful gift to your fellow mankind and is so helpful. I had no idea about boundaries. Now I protect myself a lot better and am a much nicer person :)"
"Thank you for your amazingly helpfull site."
"I am so happy to see that your webpage still exsists. It's been many years since I have been on but your webpage was there, when I needed it most. I learned so much about life with you and your understandings. . . I just referred your page to friend and I thought hmm.. I should go on it too. Can't wait to start reading again and healing another part of my life."
"Thank-you for everything you have posted on your website!!! Your revelations you have typed about Co-Dependency are truly already transforming me, and truly truly I am full of joy for finding this, and giving all the glory to my beautiful God!!! :) I know He lead me to your site!!! I am so happy, this is exactly what I needed at this time! :)"
"Thx for your response, I really appreciate it! I can only imagine how busy you are!! Thx again for sharing with me, I will do some reading. You are truly gifted and in the Divine Flow. May God continue to bless you"
"I did not expect to hear back from you personally, what a pleasant suprise. When I googled obsessive thinking and your website came up, I could not stop reading your articles. I had to purchase the book. I look forward to reading the book!"
"your website has been very helpfull."
"You have no idea how deeply you have touched me! I am a little boy who was prevented from exposing my emotions. Now, I am a person, not yet a man, who was not able to express my emotions to myself or anyone else. I've been reading your information now for the past four days, and I can't stop gleaning the information that I crave. For the past three days, my spare time after taking care of the everyday things that need to done, is spent reading your works and then evaluating my inner self. I have never had such a clear view into why I am the way I am. I've sought out the help of a friend, who is a therapist and I believe that I am on the path of recovery now. I at least can see a light at the end of the tunnel, or that black hole that you so vividly depict. The therapist that I am in contact with is hired by the Police Dept that I work for, just to ride with each of us every once in a while for us to bounce things off of. Through my interaction with him and the descriptions that you offered of going through that black hole, I can tell that he has already done that in his own healing. He is a recovering alcoholic. It is my goal/hope that one day I will be a person that is capable of Love and being Loved. I think that as that occurs, I will not be the lonely little boy full of saddness and insecurity any longer! I just wanted to say Thank You for putting your experiences out there for others to find and use to their benefit."
"It was wonderful to receive your holiday message (referring to December Update) and I will be sharing it with our Nar-Anon Group. Blessings to you and your family too!"
"thank you for the great work you are doing Robert. I continue to be one of your supporters and admirers and quite often give out you web site to my own clients."
"I cannot even begin to express how much your writing has profoundly impacted my life. I discovered your writing when I set out to find out why I continually found myself in abusive relationship after abusive relationship despite recognizing the signs of abusers. An internet search took me to your writing on emotional incest which I read in absolute amazement as it described my relationship with my father with astounding accuracy. I continued to read the other writings on your site and could not order Codependence, The Dance of Wounded Souls quickly enough. Your writing paved the path for my discovery and identification with Adult Children of Alcoholics. I embarked upon the journey to the core of the tightly weaved layers of the dysfunction in my family and the manifestation of the dysfunction throughout my entire life. I often read aloud passages from your book, and this piqued the interest of others and I soon found myself introducing the concepts from your writing to them. I suddenly knew with absolute clarity the direction my life was meant to follow, and made the decision to pursue a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and will start in the fall."
"i find your site very informative and can relate to some of the information and some of the other info certainly gives me a different perspective."
"I have just read through part of your site (I'm new to it) and write to express my gratitude to you for your writing about the process of your relationsip (1998/9). I realise this is old 'history' now and you are doubtless moved on to continuing life adventures. Nevertheless, writing about your own process has given me MUCH clarity about a recent relationship/ending. I have been in a screaming heap over this but am now starting to put together the story that fits, and through this process, start to believe (and SEE actually) that I am now more likely to have the thing I want which is a (real) relationship. Thank you."
"I've just read your book and found it to be extraordinarily helpful."
"I poked around the web looking up emotional child abuse and trust issues. I found your site and all became clear. . . I have dealt with so much that I am sort of bummed there is plenty more to uncover release and heal, but I have come far enough to know this wounded part of me is not all of me."
"So I got on the internet and the first thing I came upon was your website. The first paragraph of Obsession/Obsessive thinking part 1 hit like a rocket. ìBeing in our heads ? thinking, fantasizing, ruminating ? is a defense we adapted in childhood to help us disassociate from the emotional pain we were experiencing. WOW!!!!! This has been my life since the age of 5 years. I donít know of any other way to live. I can tell you that I just canít bear the thought of living the rest of my life with this pain."
"I would like to express my gratitude to you for your website. . . . I wrote, mainly, to let you know that your site, your words, your insight, your guidance served as footprints next to me in the sand tonight. I was asking for guidance to calm me and a term popped in my head. "Obsessive Thoughts". I Googled this term and found you. Funny thing is that I have been writing about Joy and me/you, you/me......today I was contemplating renaming myself Joy. All just hints so I would recognize your site. Syncronicity never ceases to amaze me. "
"Just wanted to say, brilliant work. My wife and I are both incest and child abuse survivors and learning what weíve learnt from your website has pushed our individual recoveries far further along than we could have previously imagined. So thank you.
I made this posting on survivors forum: I would recommend that everyone on this site and any other abuse, mental/emotional health, Alcoholics Anonymous, Al Anon, Gamblers Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, BPD, Victims of Domestic Violence websites etc start learning about the true definition, the true nature of codependancy and itís causes and effects. I would recommend the first place to start is a site called www.joy2meu.com I donít think there is anybody else who has been able to gather all the information and demonstrate it verbally or in print as well as the man who created this site."
"Lovely website. Well written."
"This is the best book I have ever came across dealing with these issues... it feeds my soul. I can't think of a better description."
"Im 21yrs old from Sydney, Australia. Over the past months I have been uncovering and adventuring through the path of recovery. I have found your website the most insightful so far. When i started on my journey I found most of the information I found helpful to my cause but my not fulfilling to my overall understanding. I still had this internalised feeling of doubt and suspicion over my newly acquired perspective. Though, with all honesty the thoughts you put forward have filled that gap and inspire and motivate me on my path."
"Thank you for sharing some of your writing on your website. I haven't gone through the 12 steps but i was intererested in reading about your perspective on spirituality. For some reason it doesn't suprise me that even though i haven't been through the 12 steps, i have been "forced" to go through a similar transformation that you describe in powerlessness to empowerment."
"Thanks for the richness of your website. I almost could heal with just that."
"I can't tell you how lucky I feel to have happened upon your website. I have come to realize most recently that I have what they call "obsessive behavior". I am no expert of course, and as far as I know it only exists during, but mostly after, romantic relationships that I have been involved in, and as I was searching for information on line regarding this, I came across your website. . . .After reading a few of your articles I couldn't believe how much I connected with what you were saying, it's as if you were talking about me and my life, and although reading is wonderful and enlightening, I need more."
"Well i have to say thank you for your insightful web pages. . . these articles all ring true for me."
"I am enjoying your book greatly. . . I do not like to read that much but your book is quite interesting. The majority of the information makes complete sense. It is nice to know that I am not a screwed up hopeless cause. I feel empowered to make changes and do not feel guilty for seeking out help to be a happy, healthy person. I want to be a postitive role model for my children as well. I have spent far too much of my life being bitter and owning that bitterness as part of my identity. I did not want to forgive or let it go because I felt I would loose part of who I am. However, I was only preventing myself from giving and accepting love and joy. Thank you for your book."
"I just found your great website in my search for a CODA meeting."
"I guess I just want to say thank you for your site; it has helped me in so many ways. Most importantly, it clarifies all the work that I've been doing over the past 14 years...I'm finally understanding and forgiving. Again, thank you so very, very much!"
"All I can say is WOW! I Googled this morning and the first site I landed on was yours."
"Another relationship(really learning lesson) for me just ended. I had become sick of this. I know codependency well. I went back and reviewed my life and came up with variuos triggering incidents, had a list of issues, main two being that of "trying to prove to my mother that I was good enough," and to be complete I needed to be in a relationship. In fact all of my relationships followed these lines. I was not sure how to address these and begin the healing process. I found you on the internet. The rest is history, and your book arrived at the appropriate time.
I cannot put into words the enormity of help and comfort and potential for healing that your message brought to me. My list of issues was validated, and as I read the book, it was as if I was reading an autobiography. Many of your ideas, I have had and know them to be true, I lacked the confidence and trust in myself and love to know them as true. During the three days that I have been reading your message, there have been four triggering events that brought me to tears. Before I began to read, my eyeballs hurt, no headache just the pain of eye strain. With my emotional release, the eyeball pain is gone. All I know is that the God-force was preparing me to begin dealing with the couped up emotional pain. I know it is only the beginning, but I embrace the journey with a more appropriate attitude.
I will continue to process your message, and with God's help, grow stronger and help the universal evolutionary process. I will always be mindful of integration and balance. Thank you, and I truly appreciate the message that you brought to me at the proper time. Needless, to say I will be referring your book to anyone that will listen."
"well, if so, then hello robert. i just came across the website that featured your 'healing the child within' articles. i wanted to say that every single thing in them matches what i've been learning in counselling. i found it reassuring to read the articles as it was a reinforcement that someone else (besides my counsellor,) understands what i am going through.
i found your explanation of feeling the feelings and how you thought if you allowed yourself that right you'd end up crying in a rubber room for the rest of your life, quite accurate! in fact, almost every day i feel i am masochistic for allowing myself to "go there." i feel quite alone in the process, as most people around me simply self-medicate and must think i'm quite self-absorbed with all of this "healing" business. and the fact that no special alien can come down and heal me/there are no secret codes/pills/time limit resonated with me as well...i've often wondered if my soul had been plagued with some sort of grief a shamanistic healer could free me from. also, the harder i try to clean up my life (quit drinking, go to therapy, etc.) the WORST i seem to be...because the "pandora's box" is indeed open, and i am feeling for a change. it's no fun, huh?. . . . . ps: i can REALLY relate to those articles...the more i think about it, the more i can. the part about 'trust' just popped in my mind...it's so true---i'm always suspicious because i don't know who to trust because what we naturally felt as kids was told was wrong or inappropriate. GOD, what a waste of time all this regressing is haha."
